Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
