five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
