Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
