the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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