If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
