i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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