Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
