Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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