So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
