She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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