Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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