and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
