There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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