don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
