with your own penis?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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