I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
