I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
