1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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