My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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