how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
