My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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