My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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