i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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