But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
