omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
