Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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