9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
