Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
