I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
