I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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