I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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