on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
