S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
