This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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