life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
