Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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