It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I pour the whiskey from now on
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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