Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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