I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
