dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
