I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
