Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
