Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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