um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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