I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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