I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
