Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
