we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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