# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
