I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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