I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
