Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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