I am puke
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
