How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
