another moral hangover. fuck.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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