Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
