I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
